Why Americans annoy the British.

If you have American friends but cannot express why they annoy, send them this list… it’s a joke by the way!

There aren’t many Americans in Bristol, if there are you can hear their accent from a mile away, booming over the rest of us like an air raid siren. Then in London I didn’t notice many either, despite living by the new embassy.

Then I moved to Madrid, WOW! With limited English speaking accents, your ears pick up on anything that is not the rapid flow of the Spanish accent. Geordie, taffy, Glaswegian or West Country, but the deafening tone of the American accent is unmistakably clear.

Then I started working in the English speaking world in Madrid, common characteristics are something that you become aware of, both in the virtual and physical world. In the airport, on the street and even more so on Facebook.

Whilst this maybe a reflection on my own prejudices and the intricacies of British culture, my main aim is to tell you why Americans annoy British.

The accent

Jesus it’s clear, even they prefer our accent!

In recent times the British accent has taken off in the states, James Corden, Ricky Gervis and the Hollywood stars Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Huddleston are just a few examples. Now the British accent obviously has many different and specific accents, which each reflect a small regional significance from our small wet island, but what is up with the Yanks?

I’ll be honest, I love the New York accent, a childhood dream of being a Ghostbuster made this so for me, yet LA? The squawk and slurred whine of the accent is enough to make anyone sound like they are missing a few brain cells.

While the southern accent can be endearing to someone with identity issues, yes people who walk around with cowboy hats, to the rest of us it speaks of repressive incest.

English usage

Change the spelling why don’t you! Ok, well it might be easy but when it comes to writers Hemingway vs Orwell? No contest Orwell.

Then there is the use of the language. ‘Happy Holidays’ no its Merry Christmas and ‘Pissed’ means drunk not angry.

Being over the top

So, I’m sat in Madrid airport McDonalds, waiting for my flight, when I hear “ OMG GUYS! They have CRO-QUETTAS IN MC’Donalds!” This is probably one of the more reserved things I have heard.

Now, I know not all Americans are the same, but Jesus this is something that most of them share. To over the bloody top!

“Oh WOW, I love yoUR Top” it’s from Primark… so annoying.

It’s like an excitable puppy, funny the first few times when you come home, but when it starts shitting everywhere it gets annoying. Americans are the same, first thoughts are generally that they mean no harm. But the 43rd time you have been told “it’s S-O Great” you just wanna stab them in the eye… it really isn’t that great!

Being perfect

Sounds like a compliment, I suppose it is. But why are Americans always so sure of themselves? Okay, we get it you have a great country, democracy, nice teeth and tans. But don’t rub it in our faces.

The average Brit is very unsure of themselves, maybe that’s just a reflection on my nationality. However, Americans being perfect and going on about it, really pisses us off.

Humour

As you can probably see I have a darker sense of humour than most… but they really don’t get sarcasm or irony.

I was once threatened with a “knuckle sandwich” because I was sarcastic to an American on a night out. I only told him that I thought the words he was using were strange. I mean who the fuck calls it a ‘Fanny pack’ anyway?

Obviously, he didn’t get my less than subtle sarcasm.

Also their sitcoms are funny… but it’s not Monty Python.

I fart in your general direction!

Always having to compete

The competitive spirit… the American dream… keeping up with the Jones… what a load of crap!

We just want to modestly live here and get on with our lives and not compete over five minutes. Yeah, I suppose when you elect Donald Trump as president of the United States, you really do prove that anything is possible in your country.

Questioning why things are different and trying to change them

Ok, Spain and other countries may not be up to date and politically correct like the good ole USA. But that does not give them the right to question and insist that their way is better. Change comes about from conversations and culture will evolve on its own, you don’t need to push it.

This ranges from capitalism, fitness, drinking habits and outdated local customs. I’m not advocating blackface, bull fighting, binge drinking, sexist behaviour or the way things should work. I’m simply saying leave people alone and stop saying how it should be like the USA! We get it you have it good.. but

Be like us Brits do it in private…

Finally the most annoying…

IT’S FOOTBALL NOT SOCCER

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